Breaking The Phone Habit and Comparing Yourself on Social Media
A few days ago I listened to Mel Robbins, one of the most booked motivational speakers in the world. She listed some habits to recreate, and at this moment I am reading "Atomic Habits" by James Clear and so this intrigued me.
Clear talks about bringing light to all of your habits, good and bad, then giving yourself grace, so not put yourself down, and to sort through which ones you want to break. At this moment, mine is my phone. Being a stay at home mom is easy to have your phone out for Spotify, checking social media, and being on the phone with friends and family. Normally, I keep my phone in the kitchen as I play with the kids in the play room, but I found myself constantly checking my phone. Then it puts me into an insecure abyss of watching singers, performers and fashionistas. To the point where it was debilitating about even trying to make progress with my music because I would think to myself, "so many others are talented, so why bother, you know?"
I know you must be telling yourself, jeez this girl is hard on herself.
That's why I am writing this today. To bring a light to the things and thoughts that people DO NOT talk about.
I know that I am not the only one.
There are people who love to bake, get on social media and then compare themselves to others who have thousands of followers and their pictures of food are beautiful. People who want to blog and then find bloggers who have master e-courses and built it themselves and they do not have the money to do that. Therefore, why even start a blog?
I knew this was something I had to break as a habit. So I can give myself the freedom to think and be creative. I noticed it was hard for me to song write, and hard for me to put outfits together for my gigs.
So, back to Mel Robbins.
She said one habit to break was to put your phone away from your bedside table. Set an alarm and put it in your closet, on your dresser, somewhere you HAVE to walk away from your bed to turn it off. So you can wake up early and get what you need done. I am still working on waking up early and I do not do it every day, but putting the phone away from you will help you from not checking your phone before you go to bed and the first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning.
The second thing was to spend the first thirty minutes of your day setting yourself with intent for how you are going to spend the day, WITHOUT checking social media.
I have been keeping my phone upstairs and have not brought it downstairs or even check it until the boys go down for a nap at 10am. I give myself 5 minutes, then I move on to my day. With a music career, social media is so important for marketing and story telling, so I know right now it is important but you have to carve out time for it.
This morning, instead of Spotify, the weather is gorgeous and I put all of my windows down and I listened to John Mayer on my record player in our play room. I ran around with my kids and sat in their comfy chairs and enjoyed my coffee with a breeze. I have struggled with putting the kids in daycare to focus on music and with their education, but this morning I thought to myself, man, this life is awesome and I am so lucky and grateful.
Y'all, do you think that would have happened if I had my phone in my hand? Probably not.
Those 3-4 hours without my phone even on the same floor as I am has allowed me to be present with my kids and engaged in the moment.
As for comparing yourself.
Taking a break from social media in the mornings and before you go to bed will help clear your mind instead of putting yourself down when you look at other people's profiles. It's easy to think your hair isn't that pretty as that person, or they are skinnier then I am. I challenge you to think about what you want to change. Do not put yourself down. Find one habit that you want to change. Whether that's being on your phone, cutting one food item out of your diet. And start small. Like the 30 min before you look at your phone before you wake up. It's all about how you want to be spending your time and be engaged in what you are doing, and improving yourself to be the best you can be. Everyone is on a different journey. Your story is YOUR story and no one else's.
If you felt like this helped you today, please share it! Let's pass on the positivity! Also, let le know what your habits are and how I can I help you. I love helping others and giving encouragement.
Talk to you next week!