The Story Behind Living Fearlessly
My song Living Fearlessly is one that is very near and dear to my heart. I wrote it for my Uncle Tom. He was my favorite uncle in the whole wide world, even to my 29 year old self. He would call me Cindy Lou Who because of my wiry braids in my hair whenever I would spend my summers with my grandparents in Michigan. He was always caring and interested in what I was doing with my life. He was sweet and kind and had a great smile and laugh. I was his little sweet pea, and he was my favorite.
In April of 2016, I went to Arizona where he and my Aunt Nancy had recently moved to be with my cousin Heather. I was going there for a conference and I needed someone to pick me up from the airport. I did not even give him an option, I told him that I was going to be there and I would see him soon. He came with my Aunt Nancy and was there in a big blue pickup truck, got out and gave me a huge hug and a kiss.
We went out for tacos. They loved going to Diners, Drive Ins and Dives places so this was a place on the list. I was so tired from traveling but I was so elated to be with my favorite people. He asked me what was going on with my singing and I was startingto record my EP and I had two songs ready and needed another two. I knew the inspiration was coming. I told him about how I had auditioned for The Voice and how my now husband and I went to Memphis and I got my first callback after auditioning two different times in other cities.
May of 2016 was my wedding. Uncle Tom and Aunt Nancy were not planning to attend, but after that they changed their minds and decided to make a surprise out of it! I remember him skipping down to the restaurant where it was held and there they were! I was so happy, and emotional because I was pregnant and it was the one of the most thoughtful surprises I have ever received in my life.
May of 2016 was my wedding. Uncle Tom and Aunt Nancy were not planning to attend, but after that they changed their minds and decided to make a surprise out of it! I remember him skipping down to the restaurant where it was held and there they were! I was so happy, and emotional because I was pregnant and it was the one of the most thoughtful surprises I have ever recieved in my life.
I had no idea that it would be the last time I saw him.
3 months later he passed of a brain aneurysm. He had blood clots that had swelled from travelling. I was so crushed and so devastated. Being pregnant I could only be so emotional without stressing my little man in my belly. Before I heard the news I saw a rainbow on my way home from getting my haircut. A fresh change I had cut off six inches from my hair. As Coco Chanel says "A woman who is about to cut her hair is going to change her life." On my drive I'm thinking things are going to be different, and everything is going to be ok. Little did I know my life would change in that instant.
There is beauty that arises from the pain, and the rain before the rainbow comes and the sun shines again.
Then Living Fearlessly came to life.
Living Fearlessly is a song that I wrote to the little girl that my Uncle Tom knew and loved so much. To unleash the chains that hold you down, like your fears, to ignore the ones of those who bring you down, not worrying about what people say, and living so fearlessly that you can see the beauty through the change and the pain.
Living Fearlessly is like a letter to my 5 year old self. To the little girl and the wild spirit that he saw inside of me, that I needed to remind myself of. And to remind others.
I want little girls, young ladies and women to know that there is joy in what you fear the most. It is waiting for you!
To my friends who play that song for their little girls and send me videos of their daughters or their nieces dancing around to it, THAT is why I wrote Living Fearlessly. When a girl who is about to start high school sings and covers it on Instagram, THAT is why I wrote Living Fearlessly. It makes me cry every single time someone send me those! Keep them coming!
I am in tears as I write this, thank goodness it's not on paper. I miss him so much but I know that his legacy, and his advice lives on through this song. The little girl with big dreams is still here. And if the reminder and encouragement was not there, this song would not even be in existence.
If you haven't listened to Living Fearlessly yet, check it out here: